05/09/2011

THE SCREAMERS OF  HOSTEL J

T

here seems to be a general agreement that Kenyans are whiners. In every situation, we make so many collective noises about what is wrong, but in the end, just like the wimps we are, we curl our tails and end up doing nothing about anything. Don’t get it twisted adore this country, and its hordes of stone throwing university students, fervent tribalists, child molesting priests and politicians with shifty eyes. I adore even the idiotic policemen of this country who shoot first and don’t even have the guts to ask questions later.

We are an odd collection of individuals in Kenya, I tell you. Allow me to put this argument in to perspective. Every time we have a power hitch around campus, which, by the way, is the order of the day and night, collective swooning emerges from, the second and third floors of hostel J and attempts to squeeze your auditory nerves out of circulation. I’m not saying that the perpetrators of misdemeanors are hopeless juveniles (which, of course they are).I’m trying to say that nowhere in the world has current flowed because tenants screamed when power was temporarily gone.

I know am likely to be lambasted by angry boyfriends, who may accuse me of trying to ruin further the reputations of their unfaithful girlfriends-most who are freshmen, green and newly acquired-but it’s all worth the risk. It might also be fun to see the faces of these defensive boyfriends when they realize that theirs are not partners, but members of a wide, comic lust circus. But I digress.

The second and third floors of hostel J, by tradition, are occupied by freshmen. Follow this logic, and it leads you to the conclusion that these screamers are first year students, it raises questions: what secondary schools did they attend? Did their minders at that level use mass swooning as a way of solving crises?

Whichever the case, I strongly feel that those noises from hostel J should end, otherwise am going to write a more inflammatory piece, full with room numbers, occupants, their associates, relatives, phone numbers, the works.